Cat Books - The Devious Book For Cats

Product Description

Cats have nine lives. Shouldn’t they be lived to the fullest?

“Domesticated” does not mean “docile.” The ho-hum routine of sleep, eat, eat, and sleep is no way for any creature who ruled Egypt for a millennium to spend her day. It’s high time felines everywhere woke up from their cat naps and grabbed life’s strings with both paws.

The Devious Book for Cats offers today’s discerning kitties words of wisdom and advice on everything they need to know, from in-depth guides on cardboard boxes and catnip to a brief history of the Felinism movement. It provides fail-safe tips on waking a human when you want to get fed, choosing the purr-fect gift, staring like a pro, and making the most of superstitions. It also explains the undeniable allure of the Window, the terrifying specter of the Vacuum, and how you can groom properly in just the scant twenty-four hours allotted each day.

Cats: Discover the devious fun you can have when you’re the one in charge!

Product Details

• Amazon Sales Rank: #16485 in Books
• Published on: 2008-10-28
• Released on: 2008-10-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Binding: Hardcover
• 224 pages

Features

• ISBN13: 9780345508492
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.
• Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices

From Publishers Weekly
A gleeful riff on The Dangerous Book for Boys (and its followers), this collection of feline's-eye-view essays is a mostly winning effort from past and present staffers of parody newspaper The Onion. Less cringe-worthy than its predecessor, The Dangerous Book for Dogs, Garden and the gang focus on a litany of cat quirks and behaviors that should give cat owners a nod and chuckle on practically every page. Including a field guide to cardboard boxes, profiles of famous felines like Garfield ("the ten ton gorilla in the comics room"), the three waves of felinism and an illustrated guide to napping positions, the book lends itself to casual perusal, though cat fanciers will likely consume it in one sitting. Like listening in on cat-to-cat communications, readers are treated to tactics for "getting away with it," explanations of "what's in there?" and the "Legend of the Crazy Cat Lady" (a cat's campfire scare story). Rounded out with original larks like a TV Guide-style program schedule for the window ("4:00 p.m.: Parallel parking. Watch as Susie Crook fails the test again") this funny collection boasts an impressive hit-to-miss ratio while managing to avoid cute overload.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author
Fluffy and Bonkers wrote this parody without authorization, because since when did a cat need permission for anything?

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Reasons You Meant to Do That

In the human world, there is a thing called a "mistake." There’s no exact translation in the feline language, but it basically means doing something you did not intend to do. The concept is quite confusing to cats since everything we do is done both correctly and on purpose. There are occasions, however, when our actions appear to resemble one of these so-called "mistakes" to humans, and this coincidence often produces accidental mis­communications. In the event of such a mix-up, you should have some prepared statements ready in order to avoid an incorrect interpretation of your actions.

"Mistake": Your head is stuck in a beer mug.
Reason: Bavarian cats have long known that sleeping in dewy beer steins can refresh and smooth the coat. The hops, malt, and barley also pro­vide an aromatic masking agent for mousing. Plus, there’s nothing wrong with a little nightcap.

"Mistake": You slammed head­first into a screen window.
Reason: There was a bug–a huge, megabug–right between your eyes that just wouldn’t get off. Well, it’s off now, isn’t it? What’s more, a powerful and graphic message that your face is strictly off-limits has been sent to the bug community.

"Mistake": You leapt from the loveseat to the television, but rather than landing on top, continued sliding off the set.
Reason: That "slip" was a symbolic act of civil disobedience. The grip multinational conglomerates have over the airwaves has reached a critical mass. Lack of competition in Big Media has made quality programming all but obsolete. Your slide was meant to be a physical representation of the slippery slope we tread when we permit the corporate monopolization of entertainment, which creates an uninformed, intellectually lazy, and generally apathetic populace. If your person didn’t get that, it just proves the point.

"Mistake": While stretching out on the couch, you rolled off the cushions and fell to the floor.
Reason: After spending all day licking your claws, you didn’t want to ruin their lus­ter by getting them caked in the thick layer of dust your person allowed to build up in the rug.

"Mistake": You slipped into the fish tank.
Reason: Those neon tetras, angelfish, and dopey zebrafish were taunting you all day. What appeared to your person as an unintentional dip was in fact a carefully choreographed move designed to instill shock and awe in your fishy foes. Now they know they’re not even safe in their castles and treasure chests; if pushed to the limit, you won’t hesitate to get wet.

"Mistake": You’re swinging around from a ceiling fan at 180 rpm.
Reason: Look, you’re a busy cat with better things to do than wait around and air-dry after your dip into the fish tank. Clinging to a fan blade allows you to dry quickly and get on with the day. Staying damp for any longer is tantamount to letting the fish win.

"Mistake": You played an un­structured, unmelodic scherzo on the piano.
Reason: That seemingly anarchic piece was actually the third movement of your free jazz symphony.

"Mistake": You’re trapped in the refrigerator.
Reason: Trapped? Hardly. You’ll come out once you’ve eaten, well, everything.

"Mistake": Rather than walk down a staircase, you tumbled down without your paws ever making stable contact with any one individual stair.
Reason: Oh, does your person still make sure to step on every stair? That’s so . . . quaint. Apparently the efficient practice of stair-sliding has not spread to the world’s more pedestrian species.

"Mistake": You wandered into the reptile house at the Topeka City Zoo and have been swallowed whole by a Burmese python.
Reason: You’re following up on a tip that the python ingested an awesome toy that was dropped in the exhibit. Once you retrieve it, you’ll just set off the firecrackers you brought along and stroll out of the serpent’s gullet without receiving so much as a scrape.

Customer Reviews

Laugh-out-loud funny
Over the years I've read many supposed-to-be-funny-and-clever little books about cats. This is because I live with a lot of cats and a lot of books, and people tend to think that if you like books and cats, then you certainly must find any book with "cat" in the title to be of significant interest. As a result, birthdays and holidays around here often end up looking like a collection site for a charity book sale drive.

And a lot of those little cat books DO end up going to charity, because frankly, quite a few are neither all that clever nor all that funny, in my opinion. There have been exceptions, but they are just that -- exceptions.

The Devious Book for Cats is one such exception. I received it the other day, and just flipping through and reading random sections left me laughing out loud. Really loud. Quite a few times. Given the current state of the economy and soaring prices for cat food and litter, I must tell you that I have not been in much of a laughing mood lately. The catnip budget around here has suffered quite a bit in recent months, just trying to put kibble on the table, you know. So this book is a welcome mood-brightener.

I like this book so much in fact, that I am ordering several more copies to send as holiday gifts. Anyone familiar with the feline lifestyle should find this book entertaining. The authors, Fluffy and Bonkers, have written an unusually creative, original and inventive guidebook.

And even though I am extremely busy these days watching birds out the window and napping, I am going to sit down on that book and absorb it more fully at my first opportunity.

A Holiday must-have for cat owners!
Searching for a holiday gift for the cat-lover in your life? Look no further - this book made me, and my cat, laugh out loud.

instant classic
Short review:

an instant classic! As a cat owner, I think it's brilliant :)